You're listening to the corniest love song So prepare to be embarrassed now, in front of all your friends In honor of you, the corniest love song And I hope that you still love me when it ends It kinda goes like this I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you, yes I love you! And in case you didn't catch that, I love you! You've partially restored my faith in females Though I must admit there's a few I will question every day A smile on my face with every e-mail (e-mail, the e-mail, what, what, the e-mail) And when we talk on the phone I want to say A million zillion times I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you, yes I love you! And in case you might have missed that, I love you! Bridge I know they're all laughing at me But what else am I s'pposed to do? So I might be lyrically impaired How many ways can I say I love you? At last now we've reached the end of our love song It may not be the greatest but hey, emotions cloud your brain This doesn't have to be the world's greatest love song But I hope that you still love me all the same Like Paul McCartney said, I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! Yeah, I love you! And in case you didn't get that I love I hope you don't regret that I love Don't ever forget that I love you!

Standing in the checkout line at the grocery Counting the collection of coins in my hand When I realize there's not quite enough to purchase my roll of 2-ply. So I put the vegetables back on the magazine rack And the chopped meat over by the gum display Is this anyway to live my life I wonder sometimes. But tonight everything is gonna change Me and the boys are gonna hop into the minivan Bellow out a battle cry, checkered flag to the sky Let's go pay a friendly visit... Look out Delaware we're taking over Someone tell the first state to watch its ever-loving back The police will just stop and stare Even the national guard don't care Kings of Dela - Kings of Delaware! Visiting the statehouse everybody laughed at us Couldn't run for governor because there's eight of us? So we're not on the ballot officially Looks like we'll have to get militant We have devised a top-secret strategy Incorporating wood davers, pygmy marmosets A jet-powered ferris wheel loaded with artillery Storming the border at midnight Delaware shall tremble as we individually Beat the living crap out of their state government Knock on the door it's a singing telegram Blaring horns and mass destruction! [People of Delaware, lay down your arms... come quietly, and no one will be hurt] **Instrumental depicting conflict VICTORY! Our conquest is complete And the People's Third-Wave Republic of Ska Stands proudly on the eastern coast. Cut scene to the throne room. Now we're living life in the lap of luxury Reggie's patrolling the borders with a baseball bat Making up laws, free food, red-haired slave girls, and a theme park! But... here's the surprise that nobody realized WHAT THE HELL CAN YOU DO IN DELAWARE? Someone explain why we're dying of boredom here and nobody tried to fight back? Ohhhhhh..... Screw you Delaware we're going home now Someone tell the people we decided to give it back The police will just stop and stare Even the national guard don't care Kings of Dela - Kings of Dela - Look out Rhode Island we're taking over Someone tell the smallest state to that we can't find it on the map The police will just stop and stare Even the national guard don't care Kings of Dela - Kings of Dela - Kings of Dela - Kings of Dela... where?

Just moved into my brand new place The apartment windows face Although no one yet knows my name They all know what shows I like to watch Every day it’s the same I look outside and see your face Smiling bright, cuts through the night Maybe I should put on my pants Somebody’s knocking at my window Could it be flamingo, could it be a dog show, maybe so Everybody’s looking in my window Should I be surprised there’s no such thing as privacy here The blinds are drawn but in my dreams They’re analyzing me But still a comfort deep inside From the eyes that pierce me every night I estimate I calculate I count the windows to your face Nine thirty-four I’m at your door And I’m ready to make things right Somebody’s knocking at my window Could it be a remedy, could it be a fantasy, haunting me Everybody’s looking in my window Take a look inside there’s no such thing as privacy Somebody’s knocking at my window Could it be an airplane, could it be I’m insane, windowpane Everybody’s looking in my window Welcome me inside there’s no such thing as privacy here The blinds are drawn the lights are on How could I miss you when you're gone

Just outside the backstage door You couldn’t lift me from the floor A heavy heart so tired of trying But could this be the face of love I’d never seen, only dreamed of Who would have known that she existed Sadly sir you are mistaken Don’t get your hopes up man, she’s taken But she follows me around as if an answer to a prayer You bide your time I’ll bite my tongue Our sun’s not set Our day’s not done This winter night A cold embrace I'll stand outside An idealistic leap of faith Rushing in we couldn’t wait Advertising to impress you Fearlessly embrace the world Five seven five, imperfect girl Let’s just forget that you’re still wounded But she could never call me 'ralrith' Or ring the cell phone that I sleep with To say our list of plans is longer than the time we seem to have You bide your time I’ll bite my tongue Our sun’s not set Our day’s not done This winter night’s A cold embrace You said goodbye I’m not ready for this A crooked smile in faded chalk A breaking point, we need to talk Are you still claiming it's confusion? Another flare that wouldn’t last I’d give you anything you’d ask Even feigning this illusion We're through the crossroads of our lives now Would moving backwards fix it somehow? Run off and find yourself, just kiss me one last time I swear I’ll go You bide your time I’ll bite my tongue Our sun’s not set Our day’s not done You said goodbye A cold embrace I'll stand outside This winter night You bide your time I'll bite my tongue Our sun has set This day is done Another love A compromise I stand aside

SPOKEN: How many o' ya know the story of ol' Seamus MacGregor? If ye know the words, raise a pint an' sing along wid us. Staggered out to the gutter with a knife in his back, Ol' Seamus was a-dyin'. Three sheets to the wind, so he didn't see his end, and now he won't be home in the morning. Seamus MacGregor was a tough Scottish sod But it's always the same in the end Nobody like s a bully and a bully was he And he died with nary a friend. <4 blasts guitar and horns, then HORN THEME> Straight off the boat from Scotland, an' down the pier, Seamus waltzed straight into a bar. Sayin' 'I'm the Best, of that there's no contest. I'll take on any comers near or far.' He was a barroom villain, all surly and mean, So a fight wasn't hard to come by, 'Bout the only time he'd grin, was when he was fightin', An' he'd get to mangle some unlucky guy. CHORUS: Seamus the Hammer was his name in the streets, And it's always the same in the end. Nobody likes a bully, but a bully was he. And he lived his life with nary a friend. Seamus was a loner, no pals of his own, And he didna seem to mind. Always quick with the lip, 'fore his mood would flip. Trouble wasn't ever hard to find. He was known as a brawler with the shortest fuse. Always quick to see red. Once enraged, his temper couldna be caged Short of a busted beer bottle to the head. CHORUS: Seamus the Hammer was a tough Scottish sod, But it's always the same in the end. Nobody likes a bully, but a bully was he. And he grew old with nary a friend. Well, ol' Seamus one evenin' went out to the bar, All the patrons cowered a-way. Cept' a nervous lad named Rick, who with a clumsy flick, Got his knife ready for his prey. Rick waited for the moment when Seamus was drunk, So he couldna mount a de-fense. Then his blade plunged in, from the crowd an awful din, As Seamus got his comeupance. CHORUS: Seamus the Hammer was bleedin' in the streets. And it's always the same in the end. Nobody likes a bully, but a bully was he. And he died with nary a friend. So, we hoped ye liked our story and took it to heart, Drunk and mean ain't no way for livin'. Next time ye grab a beer, better spread around the cheer. An' it might be yer life ye be savin'. If ye gotta be a bother, don't go it alone. Seamus' tale don't be ignorin'. Bring a mate (or eight) and ye might avoid this fate. So Buck-o better heed me warnin'. CHORUS: Seamus the Hammer was his name in the streets, And it's always the same in the end. Nobody likes a bully, but a bully was he. And he died with nary a friend. CHORUS REPEAT: Seamus the Hammer was his name in the streets, And it's always the same in the end. Nobody likes a bully, but a bully was he. And he died with nary a friend.

Spent too much time counting my grey hairs and not enough time counting blessings Keep a watchful eye for somebody who cares just in case theirs are blinded A sideways glance tells me she's not there but why would the past hold any answers While the scenery to my memory declares there's nowhere to go but forward The message isn't clear, but it seemed like such a great idea I wanted to reach you with something beautiful but nothing I dreamed up could ever be I wanted to reach you with something beautiful but nothing I dreamed up could ever be as beautiful as you, as you Just sing along to a favorite song I've never heard that one, never will again Another step another stride it won't be long to reach that endless horizon Get the energy to start over again in this short attention span lifestyle You speak your mind, but the loudest voice always drowns out those with something to say The message isn't clear, and it seemed like such a great idea I wanted to reach you with something beautiful but nothing I dreamed up could ever be I wanted to reach you with something beautiful but nothing I dreamed up could ever be as beautiful as you I wanted to reach you with something beautiful but nothing I dreamed up could ever be as beautiful as you, as you.

Driving through the streets I never hear a beep until I hit the ... red lights. Making me waste my gas, kick every one's ass, when I stop at ... red lights. You know I really hate it, when the guy in front, decides, he's gonna call his girl-friend. You know how much it sucks, cause the light turns green, and I'm, still sit-ting at the same light. Then this schmuck decides he has every right to block all movement through the ... red lights. Pulls out cross the lanes, I wonder is he sane, now I can't move to the red lights. Gotta keep my-self busy. Finally moving now, fast as law allows, til I hit the next ... red light. Passing through some greens, funny it almost seems like I might not stop, So of course I hit another light You know I really hate it, when this girl decides, that she, has gotta do her make-up. You know it really sucks, cause the light has changed, and honey, it didn't do any good. Hours later I, arrive at the site, late and pissed at the ... red lights Been driving for a while, My leg's numb for a mile, Damn I hate those red lights. ::ad-lib ranting to the end::

I met her on a park bench on a sunny Sunday afternoon (and she wasn't homeless!) We held hands into the evening, watched the sun set and gazed at the moon (huh huh huh... moon...) But then when she suggested that she introduce me to her friend… (Uh-oh, friend-zoned!)... oh no! Well that’s when I decided I would never fall in love again That girl from the punk rock show, it turned out she’s only seventeen (and three quarters... that part's very important) I whipped out my dictionary and looked up what “statutory” means (::cough, cough:: jail-bait ::cough, cough::) Now I know the definition but it thought it might be fun to pretend... (okay, it's very creepy)... oh no! Well that’s when I decided I would never fall in love again They say that luck in cards never quite translates out to luck in love But there’s no use in complaining ‘til you find the one you’re dreaming of Someday I'll find her, but... The cutie at the diner always treated me especially sweet (in fact, she was downright... sour) So, imagine my surprise she wrote her phone number on my receipt (Digits... score!) But when she dropped the bomb and said she's moving to Algiers with her ex... (Where the $@%# is Algiers?!)... oh no! Well that’s when I decided it’s okay to just be used for sex Perhaps I should be grateful that I'm such an indispensable friend... (I'm not!)... oh no! (Indispensable? Grateful.) And that’s why I’ve decided I would never fall in love again ::ad-lib rant to the end::

Your house got repossessed by the man. And your car was crushed into a cube. Your fiancee moved out to Japan. And you caught some kind of Mexican flu. Not to mention that your hamster just died And your cat and goldfish kicked off too Before my heart starts to bleed there's something I need to say and we both know it's true You should never come to me When you're looking for sympathy You want my opinion? I'm not your f'in minion, CHORUS - It sucks to be you! (woah-oh) It sucks to be you! (woah-oh) Here's my evaluation of your crappy situation It sucks to be you! Your girl just slept with your best friend And you stepped in a big pile of dog poo You're wondering if your bad luck's a trend Or maybe you're just destined to lose. In some ritualistic form of mass-suicide, Your friends and family all left you. The Kool-Aid's still on the table And you're wondering if you're able If maybe you should join them too. Don't you get it, you can't go! Is this something that you don't know? We'd all miss you if you were gone. Besides, who else would we dump on? CHORUS -- It sucks to be you! (woah-oh) It sucks to be you! (woah-oh) Here's my evaluation of your crappy situation It sucks to be you! (KEY CHANGE) Sucks to be you! (woah-oh) It sucks to be you! (woah-oh) Here's my evaluation of your crappy situation It sucks to be you! (GUITAR SOLO) (BRIDGE) Don't come crying to me I won't give my sympathy No matter how much you beg and plead I won't give my sympathy No not again! How can you say that everything's wrong When the hamster wheel is finally free Your nose is still attached to your face But that could change if you keep bothering me So now we've reached the end of our song Because I couldn't write another verse But just remember when the pressures of life get you down it could always be a hundred times worse. Don't you ever come to me When you're looking for sympathy You want my opinion? I'm not your f'in minion, CHORUS 2X

I knew this girl, when I was young. She lived a block away from me. And now I know, this sounds dumb, But when I close my eyes, I still... see... her... On her bike. Riding down my street. Blonde hair, blue eyes, bluest eyes, She was the coolest little girl I ever thought that I would meet. But we got older, coolness faded, she got jaded and she hated When I waited outside of the school for her And those times that we would walk and we would talk and she would rock Back and forth on her bike... were... gone. <HORNS> When we were young, we were so close, I thought I'd really found a friend. I never thought this girl I liked the most. That one day it would all come to an end. I know, it's true Even close friends can grow apart. But when it happens to you. You never quite believe it with all of your heart. Cause we were closer, we were tighter, if I ever lost sight of her She would come running back and she would take me hand, But times are changing, time is fleeting, rearranging all the seating, And the hourglass of time is running out of sand. CHORUS: Those Days are Gone. Those Days are Gone. But You have to pick your stuff up and you have to carry on, And I hope that in your journey you'll remember this song, Your younger days have left but keep your head up strong, remember... ...Those days are gone... Those days are gone. I saw her once in high school I barely noticed her at all. She had her eyes painted this dark shade of blue. And she'd become so small. I was so scared, could this be the girl that I knew? Blonde hair dyed black, combat boots, but when I looked, I could see that her eyes were still so very blue, When we were younger I hadn't known it, but her parents had really blown it, Her mother was a drunk, and her dad was so cruel. And one day she walked away, and she would say, "Man that's okay, I'm never gonna be that way, I'm gonna fade away in high school." CHORUS: Those Days are Gone. Those Days are Gone. But you have to pick your stuff up and you have to carry on, And I hope that in your journey you'll remember this song, Your friend have moved away, but keep your head up strong, remember... ...Those days are gone... Those days are gone. <Sax solo> I saw her once after high school. I was glad to see her then. This time, her eyes weren't so very blue, And I could see my friend riding her bike again. CHORUS: Those Days are Gone Those Days are Gone. But you have to pick your stuff up and you have to carry on And I hope that in your journey you remember this song. There's better days ahead, so keep your head up strong, remember.... ...Those days are gone... Those days are gone.